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Visory Health Caregiver Series: Caregiver Grief After Death

Grief and in particular, caregiver grief, is a normal emotion and very personal. Taking care of a family member or friend for an extended period of time before death is both challenging and rewarding. When that same loved one dies, you may experience grief in many ways.

In this blog, we will discuss when caregiving ends, caregiver grief types, the emotions you may be feeling, its impact on your emotional and physical well-being, and how to know when to reach out for support.

Types of Caregiver Grief

Grief is experienced during caregiving and after the death of a loved one. Before your loved one passes away, you may experience anticipatory grief. This grief is felt in anticipation of a pending death, and may occur days, months, or even years before the death of a loved one. This grief emotionally prepares a caregiver for the inevitability of the actual death of your loved one.

Another type of grief may occur when your loved one has cognitive or memory disorders and cannot fully communicate or communicates in periods of lucidity, as with some dementia patients. This grief is called ambiguous grief and occurs when your loved one is still alive but not fully communicative. Along with this type of grief, you may also experience feelings of anger and frustration.

Grief after death is a universal human emotion and is very individual to the person experiencing it. Your grieving process may be different than others and that’s ok.

What a Caregiver Might Feel After Losing Their Loved One

Grief and feelings of mourning are natural and expected, especially when you have been a caregiver to your loved one. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance (n.d.), the grief you feel may affect every aspect of who you are, and include physical, spiritual and emotional symptoms.

Physical Grief Symptoms May Include:

Crying and feelings of fatigue
Trying to remain busy and keep hyper focused on something else to occupy your time and mind
Somatic complaints including headaches, stomach aches, body aches and pains
Sleeping too much or too little
Eating too much or not too little
Using alcohol to suppress the grief/pain of your loss

Spiritual Grief Symptoms May Include:

Questioning your faith and your relationship with God
Anger at God
Questioning suffering and the meaning of life
Drawing closer to your faith/relationship with God, providing you comfort

Emotional Grief Symptoms May Include:

Sadness and crying
You may feel guilty or have regrets
Anger or frustration
Anxiety, worry, or irritability
Inability to concentrate or memory problems
Feel like you have no control over the situation

Stages of Grief

While each caregiver is different, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross defined some stages of grief that you may experience:

Shock and denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Each of these stages provide a framework for your feelings, but are fluid and you may experience them together, separately, or at varied times during your grieving process.

The Impact of Caregiver Depression and Grief

Most caregivers who experience the death of a loved one are resilient and adjust to grief and loss. However, approximately 20% of bereaved caregivers experience depression and/or persistent, complicated grief, which includes high levels of stress that is disruptive to daily life functioning and lasts for at least 6 months or greater.

Symptoms of complicated grief may include:

Feelings of high levels of stress burden
Intense longing for the person who died
Reoccurring and distressing thoughts about the absence of the person who died
Feelings of depression and anxiety
Physical exhaustion
Difficulty concentrating

If you find yourself unable to cope with the death of your loved one, seek help from a healthcare provider.

Steps to Take After the Death of a Loved One

Understand that grief, guilt, sadness, and other strong emotions are a normal reaction to loss
Acknowledge your feelings during the grieving process
Allow yourself time to express your grieve and heal: life-closure, emotional healing, reconciliation after the death of a loved one
Be patient with yourself and others
Keep a journal of your feelings; this will help you express your grief
Seek support from family and friends
Exercise with whatever activity you can do to help you feel better
When needed, seek professional advice or medical attention

Support for Grieving Caregivers

While grieving is an individual process, there are some things you can do to assist the caregiver as they grieve:

Provide support and be available
Listen and allow the caregiver to express their feelings freely
Be patient and understanding
Share precious memories of the deceased with the caregiver
Offer to assist with household responsibilities, provide a meal, or donate to a cause
Remember holidays and special occasions will have important meaning for the grieving caregiver

Visory Health Support for the Caregiver

Grief after the death of a loved one is a very personal experience. At Visory Health, we see you and we hear you. We understand our Caregiver Community and wish to support you through your time of bereavement.

Take care for yourself through proper nutrition, sleep, and exercise. See your healthcare provider as needed and continue to take your medications as prescribed. The Visory Health Discount Prescription Card can ensure you get access to your prescription medications at the best price.

Stay Healthy, Stay Visory Health!

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To Your Health,

Dr. Creamer

DNP, MSN, MSS, MA

","disclaimer":"

This article is not medical advice. It is intended for general informational or educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, diagnosis or treatment. If you think you have a medical emergency, immediately call your physician or dial 911.

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